To wrap up the storyline…
Turns out all he could do was get to level 71. Bless him. There is an in-joke here that relates to a Penny Arcade strip from a month ago or so, that has become quite a feature in our day-to-day verbal transactions.
This comic marks the 3rd comic in 2 weeks for us. Don’t get used to that kids! We are not machines! (citation needed)